Someone close to me.........

Is a very good writer and has a blog on the internet. She also works for a magazine. The more I read her blog I am usually fascinated by her words and how she uses them to aptly describe usual situations and make them jump at you to form stories which stay with you. The only other writer whom did that to me was Mike Royko, a famous newspaper columnist from Chicago.Sometimes reading through her blog, I would get jealous. I've wanted her to write about me, and the horrible injustices that have haunted my life. Food for fodder I always thought, but she never cared nor dare to write about anything in my life, and there were many gross wrongs done. So when she did choose to write about me, she did what so many others have. She judged me based on surface remarks, and how they penetrated her being. She wrote how insensitive I was . She basically tried to know me in a matter of a few words instead of taking any depth of time to truly get to know me. A good writer I do know gets to know their subject matter thoroughly before the story is told to all who will listen. I'm sorry My words offended her but all I can really say is GROW UP .If you choose to write on a public forumn then grow thicker skin, otherwise keep your thoughts in a personal diary.

Love.....................................

is all consuming and absorbs all your thoughts and actions. When we are in love with someone all objects can become intant gifts. We want to please that special person and we want to make them smile. If we are physically able to love that one, the stars can truly explode. However, with love, there are degrees. Love #1 being the lowest, and love #10, the greatest.Most people fall in love between 2 and 5.And as time ravages on , the # falls. If you are lucky enough to be in the upper area(somewhere between 7 and 10)You my friend are addicted to that person. In fact you might as well have "slave' tattooted on your forehead. When you reach that highest #, you have found the perfect match, The one whom invaded your dreams as you slept. The #10 is your air that makes you breathe, and it does not fade, but gathers more force and de3pth as time goes on. Is it scary? Yes , but it is worth the price, and thus the phrase was borne" It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all"...........................

it was all a misunderstanding.

When I was in 7th grade, I was going out (actually just talking on the phone) with an 8th grader, Alba Palmisano.Everytime I called her, she would answer the phone and the song"ferry cross the mersey" would be playing in the background.It was such a good relationship I thought and I was always excited to get home. Being the stupid kid I was , one day as a joke I told her it was over and that I didn't like her anymore, and before I could tell her I was kidding, she cried and got extremely upset and hung up the phone on me. She did not answer the dozens of calls that followed. She did not answer and future calls I made to her in the days that followed. She did not even look my way at school. My prank ended the relationship. I guess some things are just not meant to be.

Music makes the world ...................

go round, or so its been said.When we're in a mood, music helps.When we're happy ,music seems the right appetizer. In our most depressed times, music can understand us. Did you ever think about the writers of some of those songs and the state they must of been in to create those musical gems that befriend us in times of need?Poor pathetic feelings of despair with no where to go but on paper.And from there ,they stand naked for the world to judge them and use them and discard them when their usefullness has gone.Oh those sad clinging melodies heard and sung by so many and then allowed to drift away. Music is like death in that without it , there would be no life.As one song dies, another is born and the cycle goes on.

A BLACK HEART........

is as deep and endless as the black hole. It consumes and eats everything that comes in contact with it. It is truly the rare person who has this black heart . Most of them sit in prisons or are dead because a black heart usually does not attract any good . The person who is completely selfish has this black heart. It is really easy to spot, and rarely do these people change or even want to.I have a friend whose wife has this black heart. Everything must revolve around her , so much so that she fakes illnesses to keep the limelight on her.She has had children whom are older now but their lives seem a mess. I find it hard she could raise children, but I'm sure it was hell for her husband, my friend.He is the opposite. A truly giving person and he found something he truly enjoyed. Not another woman, but performing music. He enjoyed singing and learning to play a musical instrument late in his life. SHE couldn't stand it! It was through me that he was able to find this fufillment.The only problem was to work with him, I had to incorporate her into the band. To ensure his dream, I put up with her. You could sense that although she also enjoyed performing, she could not stand the thought of something else being stronger in her husband's life. So they fought , often, in private. She wanted out, he would do everything to keep her happy so he could continue performing. I made many concessions to keep him in, though I hated her for doing this to him.He gained strenght and at one point he stood up to her, and she began wilting like a flower deprived of water and sun.She didn't know what to do , and her power over him was draining.She pulled the ultimate selfish act, SHE CAME TO ME. She knew I was fair, and she unburdened herself to me. I talked to my friend and told him he shoild quit because, she was his wife. The words tasted bitter as they left my mouth but I knew it was the right thing to do , and she knew I would do the right thing. .....................I saw him the other day whining like a wounded puppy how much he missed performing. I smiled with him, but inside I shouted at him to be a man and put her in her place! HE never heard me and our lives went back as if nothing ever changed. He, to his world, and me to mine

VICTORY......

isn't always a jump up and down , scream hoops in the air , let everyone know how great it feels to win.Sometimes it's tears cascading down your cheeks washing away the salt. Sometimes its only a brief acknowledgement . Othertimes, it's a sadness. The pain of fighting now gone, the body doesn't know quite how to react. And the victory wasn't really a victory but someone starting to listen to the truth! It's hard to believe that which we can't see, and the truth is often just that. A person is made up of words , and we can choose to believe them, or not. There is no victory in truth, and thus the sadness. It's much easier to believe in lies because the truth brings a reckoning. I will celebrate when the truth is finally forced on those that chose to ignore that they could be wrong, but instead festered the maggotted lie to grow and consume anything innocent in its path. I hate lies!!!!

Selfless love..

is the hardest love to really give to another adult whom we want to be with. It is easier to give it to children, especially our own.Selfless love requires that all of our thoughts and decisions including the most minute ones are made with the benifit of the other person in mind. In most cases, there are always factors involved in our decisions including parents, children, employment, etc.In selfless love , nothing else matters but the welfare of the other person. This can be a scary thought because in a way they hold the food for our hunger. It isn't a question of want, but more of need. Selfless love becomes rare as self preservation becomes a number one instinct. Once we decide to love, we should drive forth like a river breaking through a dam and roar ahead confident in our ability to know we have chosen this special person whom to love. And the choice was ours, so why hold back. For parents and children will eventually go to their own lives, but those whom we choose to mate with and give of out outmost selflessness will walk with us hand in hand and breath in breath until death brings the physical barrier. A little baby fighting for its first gasps of life struggles and screams and cries but soon realizes the breath is what life is all about and soon lives content and happy as its struggles subside!

TOM PETTY SAID IT BEST,

The waiting is the hardest part. I am waiting for some news which can release me from a spell cast on me some 18 years ago. This spell controlled my life and never truly let me enjoy anything in my life. It sometimes slept silently within me , and other times flared like the dragon's nostrils.It was like the hump on the hunchback of Noterdame, going everywhere I did and never letting me forget its hold on my life. This spell has cast a sadness on my life and reverberated off any one close to me.And now this spell is an eyelash away from being subdued and destroyed.It is the dragonslayer whom holds my fate. A man dressed in dark garments and wielding a mallet so strong that with one strike can destroy this cancerous spell infused in my being. He is now in complete control of my life, and I, CAN only watch humbly as I live in his hands. He must choose whether to release me of the demons or prolong this hungry flame for the rest of my earthly life. I ask him for mercy but he does not hear my mute cries. I plead for justice, but I do not know if he is a just man. I do know that he holds the power. I need to know, NOW! I have been waiting for two days for relief. It is like chewing on my bones.I need to know if I am FREE, or destined to remain a hollow being acting out a life. Waiting is the hardest part!

Unjust

Why is it that it is for the thing I did not do , I am being punished and have been for most of my

life, where as the things I did do , the punishment faded fast? ( just a question.) I've decided we should be more positive. You know when someone is sick or isn't feeling in tip top shape, or just needs attention, we use the phrase "poor Johnny, or poor baby?" From now on I am going to replace the :"poor" word and insert "rich". This will promote positive influences and encourage the upbuilding of the person. Wouldn't it be better to say, "rich Johnny " or rich baby?" I think it would so start using the new word and encourage positive thought.

Fear

What causes us to remain planted in cement unable to pound away the stone with the giant mallet in our hands. She told me once she couldn't leave him because he might do something stupid to himself or her children or her. Her life was trapped in fear. She seemed a vibrant girl hidden in the shadows of ridicule. He provided no water for this dying plant her growth was stunted years before.She talked emotionless like she played it back in her mind thousands of times. She had resigned herself to the fact that this was her future and only her death would bring relief.She never talked of it again. Only that one time. Any more and it constituted complete betrayal.I thought her to be a very pretty girl camouflaged in clothes of dark browns and greens.She seemed a flower looking to grow but denied access to the sun.Little vibrant sparks often shot out from her, but watched she was from her handler never letting the rope get too far. Her break came one day when she had enough courage to realize there was a way out without dying. It came in the way of hope.She knew better things were out there. She soon understood in slow painless awakenings that life was not like a boulder on your shoulders, and once she realized that he could hold her down no longer, she leapt and ran away from him as far as she could and his rope broke and no more could he stunt her growth and desire for feelings so long dead. And in doing this she broke from fear and found whom she really was once she became free.

She talked with no emotions, just fact

tracfone scam

Ok so I think tracfones are great. Pay as you go and no monthly bills. Whoo oooo what excitement. So The tracfone I had doesn't shut off so I go to get a new one and it is a really cool looking one. It is in a store about 25 miles from my house. Anyway, here I am sitting home trying to get this thing to work and after a long battle, I succumb and call tracfone headquarters. What I am told is this model will not work in my area. Hmmmm, sounds stupid, and I don't really care about the technical aspects of it. Anyway, bring it back for refund and life goes on.

I get another model like this later and I am assured by the clerk that it will work in my area. This is from another suburb in the opposite direction of the other model. Ok so it sits in my desk for a month before I get the nerve to try it. And this time i'm going to use the internet to gain an additional 20 minutes. I proceed with caution but I startled to find everything going smooth. Every one of the thousand numbers works carefully . there is only a brief delay when my birthdate didn't go in, but anyway I finally get to the end with the congratulatory comments at the end. I am elated at my sucess. The website says to try the phone number to make sure the phone works properly. I make the call and CRASH!!!!!!It does not work . it will not work in my area. I lost the minutes I put on the phone, I've gone to hell. After about 30 minutes I recover and now wonder what to do with this useless phone

garage sale truths

So I went to a couple of garage sales this morning, and at one particular good one I was looking at some items and spending a bit of quality time perusing some items. Generally, garage sales are made up of many very quick glances. If one spends too much time in some spot, then a treasure perhaps might be found, and this causes undue attention from other garage salers. To avoid this, one must circle like a hawk and then after many careful peeks attack the item and claim it as theirs. Anyway, I spent a bit too long at a table and a woman with a cell phone glued to her left ear suddenly sprang on me and hovered so close to my right shoulder I smelled her breath. She probably expected me to back away from the table, but to her surprise, I did not move an inch , and in fact moved closer into the table, and I proceeded to pick up an item that I feigned interest in. It was a good battle, but after about one minute of face to face combat , she must have realized I wasn't moving, and there was nothing on the table for her. Round one won! There were only about 3 0r 4 people there and it was pretty spread out. She continued talking on the phone and I proceeded to other tables. We locked again by the little girls jackets. I found a couple of small girl's jean jackets with tags still on them . As I lifted the tags to see the price , the lady with the phone cemented to her ear swarmed on me like bees after honey. before she got to me, I knew the price of the jackets was too high for my tastes, this being a garage sale and all,and as I let go of the jean jacket, her sweaty fingers grabbed the sleeve as it fell back into place. This time though, I retreated. I was afraid I would slap the phone from her ear.I got what I needed though, and walked away victorious after paying. As I walked past her ELEXUS suv, I thought seriously about keying it, but then thought it wasn't worth the grief.Hopefully , I'll see her at another sale.

Juyly 5

well, here it is the thursday after the 4th and in a couple of days it will be 7-7 07.mmmmmm does that mean anything to anyone?you know, biblically, the # 7 was always a sign of completion. what needs to be completed/ guess.

intro

I am starting to write about a tale which is true. please watch this site for more info. thanks